In truth, this will be a difficult post for me to write. I am hoping that this cathartic exploration into my own battle and eventual acceptance of my anxiety will help you if you find your self in similar situations.
How anxiety impacts my daily teacher life:
sleepless nights
Sunday scaries
Perfection in planning at the expense of family free time and sanity.
Stress/anxious reactions in meetings and with colleagues. (More on this later.)
Becoming overwhelmed in new situations.
Quick to anger when work is added to my plate… er, platter.
Panic before, during, and after teacher observations.
Parent emails plaguing my thoughts in constant replay, hours and even days, later.
And, one particular case, a full-blown panic attack after a particularly nasty parent email.
Truthfully, this list is probably longer, but writing this list became a lot to take in. Just writing down the ways in which anxiety impacts my daily life was a heavy realization. Have you ever tried this? I honestly hadn’t put that much thought into the ways that anxiety changes me, changes my day, or impacts my decisions. It was a hard list to craft, but also helpful in figuring out how I can live with this diagnosis. Perhaps, this is a good step one in learning how to navigate teaching with anxiety.
So, how have I learned to ‘adapt and overcome’ as they say? Here are some things that have worked for me and my anxiety while teaching:
Find/create a safe haven in your classroom. I am not talking about a Pinterest worthy classroom, just fill the space with things that make you happy. If that is beautifully designed bulletin boards and wallpaper, go for it. If it is sports posters of your favorite team behind your desk, do it. Pictures of your family all over your desk, litter those pictures everywhere. For me, this means an organized desk, flair pens, soft lights, and pretty anchor charts. I go to my prep hour ready to relax, but more importantly, recharge my introverted batteries.
Invest in lamps or light fixtures that will allow you to lower the lights when possible. I have found this to be so soothing, even during class (if you have enough outside light and lamps.)
Leave. Yup, that is my best advice, leave. Don’t spend the extra half an hour perfecting that PowerPoint with pretty pictures. Don’t spend hours cutting out those perfect letters for your bulletin board. Take that time for yourself. Go home. Rest. Recharge. I learned, after several years of running myself ragged, that the students really are okay with pre-punched letters from the teacher supply store. They learn just as well with a PowerPoint slide filled with great content and no fancy fonts. (Don’t get me wrong, I still love the fancy fonts and pretty designs.) Just make sure that you are not giving up yourself to make those slides perfect.
Take the work email off your phone and close that Remind App when you leave the building. Let yourself have a life outside of work. I cannot tell you how many times I have become upset about a parent email or student Remind Request after hours. Then, because of my anxiety, it spins and spins on replay in my mind, destroying that precious home time. These messages can wait for you.
The ‘say nothing/say everything’ approach to dealing with anxious situations with admin, colleagues, and parents.
Say nothing. What? My anxiety reactions in meetings have found me in hot water. If you find this to be true with your anxiety, try to say nothing. Go back to your classroom to think it over first. Then, force yourself to stop thinking about it. Dive into a project. Clean your room, grade those essays. Go home if you can; distract yourself there and practice self-care. Then, after waiting as long as you possibly can, sit down with a paper-pencil and draft your response. Read it through, invite a teacher bestie to read it if you can. Then, draft or say your response.
Say everything. This is an alternative to the say nothing routine that sometimes works for me. I still say nothing in the meeting, because I know my anxiety response will sound angry or frustrated. But, when I can’t distract myself after the fact, I sit with paper/pencil or fingers to keyboard and say everything. This might be an email that I will never actually send, or just notes about my concerns or frustrations. I get it all out and hold nothing back. I tend to prefer paper/pencil for this task because there is something very satisfying in crumpling up that piece of paper. Once I can get all of those thoughts out, I can begin the work of distracting myself for a bit. I personally need time to step away from the anxious situation. Then, and only then, can I create a response that I am proud of. Then, the situation doesn’t sit on replay. I can walk away and not overthink. That has become a key strategy in my effort to teach with anxiety.
One key element to this say nothing/say everything approach is being open and honest about my anxiety with my administration and close colleagues about my anxiety. This affords me the opportunity to simply let them know that the situation is making me anxious, and they know that I just need a bit of time and space to process the information. It was a difficult decision, looping in my admin on my anxiety, but one I do not regret. If you do decide to inform your administration about your anxiety, document everything that takes place in that meeting. In the unlikely situation that you experience backlash because of this, or anything related to your anxiety, you will have the backup. If you have a union rep, bring him/her along.
What if you can’t ‘say nothing?’
I know that it isn’t always possible to say nothing in the moment. You may be in a parent conference, an IEP meeting, or working with a student. The following are tips for calming your anxiety in the moment.
Breathe. People will allow you time to breathe as long as it isn’t a huff or an obnoxious deep breath. Breathe in and out, listening to the sound of your breath.
Make a point to count backward in 2s from 10. Focusing on that will regulate that quick response and calm your fight or flight response.
Say as little as possible. Avoid lengthy responses that will get your heart pounding and head racing.
Dealing with the parent email while anxious.
I used to write these lengthy explanations to the negative parent email. I thought I was helping the situation by explaining myself, the class, the assignment, etc. It was later explained to me that I could have the very best intentions and write this email with a positive tone and helpful attitude, but that parent is going to read this – to themselves- in their still angry/frustrated tone. My words will be misconstrued into the tone the reader puts on those words. My positive or helpful tone, will by nature, now be negative. This only inflames an already difficult situation. To avoid this situation, my colleagues would recommend calling the parent instead so they can hear your positive tone. Yeah, my anxiety would knock me flat over if it knew I was about to call an angry parent.
This is where the ‘say as little as possible’ advice from earlier comes back into play. My email responses now are respectful but very short. If a parent is upset about a failing grade, I provide them a link to the parent portal, and bullet point my hours before/after school where I am available to meet or support. I say, “take care” and close the email. That’s it. I don’t make a laundry list of all the things I have done or all the things their child has done. Just a bullet point list of when I am available for support. 9.9 times out of 10, I don’t hear anything back. They didn’t get the fuel for their fire. Occasionally, a parent wants to set up a meeting during the times I laid out, and by the time they come (albeit my anxiety is raised), they have calmed. They are ready to hear what I have to say, and I am more ready to say it. Short and sweet. It actually works.
The other great piece to this method is my new ability to walk away. I didn’t say a whole lot, so there is a whole lot less floating around in my brain at 3am. I am not sitting around worried about how that parent will respond. No more wondering what they might say, so what will I need to say in return. It has lightened the burden on this part of teaching.
These are just a few tips and tricks that have worked with me, my anxiety, and my unique anxiety triggers. Everyone’s anxieties are different. I hope a few of these will help you as you teach with anxiety. Feel free to share some of the tricks and tips that have worked for you as you teach with anxiety in the comments below. It is so awesome that we can support one another!
A few more blog posts on this topic are coming. Check back to my blog for further ideas/support.
-Dealing with the Many Unknowns in Teaching with Anxiety
-The Workload Anxiety- Letting go of Perfectionism and Control
-Collaborating with Anxiety- Team Teaching Tips for Success